YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
