after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
