Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
