just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize