Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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