positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
