I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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