Are we in a gay sports bar?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
