I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I understand Curling. That high.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
