look no pants
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
