remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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