That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
