My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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