It was confusing and full of hummus
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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