They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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