it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh god it's open bar.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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