i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Everything about him screamed your future.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
