i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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