Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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