How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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