I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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