so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
