I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
