I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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