she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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