I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We talked him into tasing himself.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
