i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
