That's intense
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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