i'm signing you up for texting rehab
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
