Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
