I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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