I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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