she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
