But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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