He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
