wat bout pragnant strippers??
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
