Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
