I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We named our party play list daddy issues
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I understand Curling. That high.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
