It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize