My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
