Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
