You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
