I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
do herpes really smell.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
