so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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