He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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