At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
