I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
