ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
