there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize