id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
