If i come over, it means nothing
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
