shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
