On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
