At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
