so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
