i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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