if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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