she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
