Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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