He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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