I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So much rum. So many feels.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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