yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
