Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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