come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
