Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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