Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
