Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
