what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
