I got chris browned last night
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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