I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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