My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize