ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
